– or “how to show you’re not participating on a topic”

A major problem with the universe we live in is the binary nature of social media participation. Either you’re participating, or you’re not. “I’m not going to post on this topic” is a post on that topic. There’s no way to show you’re not participating, or telling others they shouldn’t spend time on a topic, without becoming part of the problem.

What problem? It might be someone with a controversial opinion that you don’t think should be reaping the economical (all clicks mean ad-money) or promotional (all PR is good PR) benefits of the fifteen minutes of twitterverse fame that you could be contributing to, or it might be a topic you just think is framed wrong or a non-issue and would be better left to more thoughtful deliberation or the silent treatment.

But if you post anything, all who read your thoughts will be informed of, or reminded of the topic you’re trying to quash, and your words might just have the opposite effect of what you intended. And worst of all, unless you’re an idiot, you can’t feel smug about not participating in the discussion when you’ve actually posted, and where’s the fun in just not posting at all and sitting there being the only one knowing you have a reason to feel smug?

Enter*, the website for registering your non-participation on unworthy topics. Say the ailing health of someone odious is causing a buzz and you think that wishing death and torment on anyone is horrible and/or this odious person doesn’t deserve even negative attention and/or everyone is just being idiots for posting about this when there’s a new Game of Thrones-trailer out. Log into your account, see if the topic already exists and click the “smug”-button if it does, or create it if it doesn’t. See if your friends have beat you to feeling smug about this, or if you’re the first one in. And then don’t comment, because there is no comment function, don’t “share on facebook”, because there is no “share on facebook”-function, just know that if your friends do the right thing and registered their smugness when they notice the topic, they’ll know you did so first. There will be no “new topics” promotion, no “What are your friends smug about?”-function, just a “search for topic”-function, a “create topic”-function and a “feel smug about topic”-button.

“That doesn’t sound like fun,” I can hear some of you say. But you’ll have to agree it’s an improvement over the hollow feeling of being smug all by yourself and any sharing feature or other function that allowed you to easily learn about additional topics to feel smug about would defeat the purpose of the site: Giving you the option to be semi-publically smug about not promoting a topic, without promoting the topic what so ever.

Okay, one other feature is required. What to do if you notice someone being smug about something while still posting about it? You press the “liar, liar, pants of fire”-button and attatch a link to the post in question, and that someone gets a notice they’ve been caught out.

Oh, and although you can’t have a profile with lists of what you’re smug about, for obvious reasons, you can have one with how many things you’re smug about, how many pant-conflagrations you’ve discovered, and how many times you’ve been caught with your underwear ablaze. And you can search on topics you think do deserve attention, find out who’s smug about not paying attention to them, and publicly shame them for their smugness.

*domain for sale as of today. If you have the required know-how and the inclination to make this site a reality, I’m willing to be the sleeping partner.


Posted on March 18, 2014, in The Internet. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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